Bachelor of Corruption

Formally, a person’s intellect was indicated with degrees such as BA, MA or PhD but in today’s India there are more corrupt than intellectuals. So, is it the time when we give degrees of corruption to the deserving ones?

Present day India has many people who have successfully passed their exams of corruption and believe me the toppers have performed fairly well. Putting a whooping amount of Lakhs of Crores on their examination paper of bribery and scams the toppers have broken all the records. As a token of appraisal the toppers were interviewed by the media, hand-shake by the police, and were offered a free visit   to the elite ‘Tihar Jail’ till their lawyer came with Migration Certificates oops I mean Bail Orders. If someone has performed such great feats it’s almost essential for us to give them recognition or a degree in a suitable Convocation Ceremony. Summing, there is no rating in our nation of who is how much corrupt; this degree will help us do that too.

Let’s start with school level, anyone who is caught in a scam of a Lakh Rupees or less, gets minimal media attention and a visit to the local jail, must be offered a degree of Intermediate. Around 45 Lakh students appeared in the 12^th Board exams this year, so the students with Intermediate of Corruption would be nearing that number.

Bachelor’s degree must be offered to someone with a corruption of 10 Lakh or less. Students completing their Graduation in Corruption would include Bachelor of Corrupt Sciences (equivalent to BSc), Bachelor of Commercial Corruption (B. Com) and Bachelor of Art of Corruption (BA).  Bachelor of Corrupt Sciences would include doctors involved in cut practices, men approving faulty designs for buildings etc. Bachelor of Commercial Corruption will be the one who tamper official records, increase the prices of products bought with govt. money to fill in their pockets etc. And Bachelor of Art of Corruption will be offered to all those who find new and innovative ways to cheat, ways which can’t fit in the rest of two.

The people with corruption amounting to 10 Cr. would be offered Master’s degree. These people would be the powerful people of the corrupt society viz. politicians.

The most elite would be the ones involved in scams above 10 Cr. Naturally there will be a few of such people and they will be offered the degree of Doctor of Corruption and Philosophy.

Corrupt people who fall ill just at the moment when the police come to take them to jail would be offered the degree of Bachelor of Corruption and Medicine (equivalent to MBBS) for knowing the skill to fall ill at the best time.

And the ‘greats’ who come out of jail even after their guilt is proved would be offered Bachelor of Corrupt Laws for their outstanding work to trick the court.

Fortunately and unfortunately common man will always be a failure in this field of education. A non-corrupt illiterate would always see his ‘seniors’ bag degree after degree while he suffers for two square meals. This is the India we live in.